Dr. Daneen Skube
Tribune Content Agency
Interpersonal Edge
Q: I’m in my 50s and consider myself competent and experienced in my field. However, I find myself more often realizing how much I don’t know. Why am I suddenly more often feeling ignorant? Will my newfound awareness hurt my career? Why did I feel so much more confident when I was younger?
A: You’re suddenly feeling ignorant more often because however much we think we know, we actually don’t know much. As Socrates, the famous Greek philosopher, sagely summarized, “Awareness of ignorance is the beginning of wisdom.” Likewise, your new awareness will enrich your career.
I’m in my 60s and nowadays I feel like I’m gazing through the Hubble telescope at infinite galaxies of knowledge that surpass my current awareness. I find this ignorance inspirational about the learning that awaits me. My ignorance also keeps me humble and open-minded.
I also felt more confident and arrogant about what I knew when I was younger. Now I joke with all seriousness that, “What I know is just my current best theory.”
When we’re young in age or in our stage of mind, we tend to be much more insecure. Believing that we have “it all figured out” can make us feel safer.
However, truth does not cease to affect us because we refuse to see it. We just end up with tire tracks from reality; they run down our backs when our limited theories cannot help us understand or avoid events that run us over.
People who refuse to let in new information generally feel like victims. They cannot see the greater forces at work that they themselves are setting in motion.
When we finally have the inner security to embrace our ignorance, we have put our feet on the path of wisdom. No one can understand himself or herself or others without gazing into that inner Hubble telescope of inner space with awe and reverence for the mystery therein.
Any career will benefit from your newfound humility, open mindedness, and curiosity. When we achieve this stage of mind and age, everything and everyone around us becomes our teacher. No lemon event drops into our lap that we cannot use to make lemonade. We see it isn’t the events in our life which shape us, but our response to those events.
When we arrive at 50 and beyond our development demands humility. At 50, when we gaze into the future we can feel the cold breath of death on our shoulder — the ultimate mystery of what happens next!
An awareness of the ultimate ignorance, what happens when we die, is an invitation to become thoughtful, not morbid. How many minutes do we have left? What will we regret not doing? What are our priorities since we’re facing an unknown deadline?
I say to my closest friends who are also in their 60s or 70s, “We need to start thinking about 85.” They ask me why and I say because we’ll all be there faster than we think. There’s no time like the present to show up, do what you’ve been waiting to do, take the risks you’ll regret not taking, and learn about the infinity in front of you.
As a line from a Beatles song noted, “You only take the love you make,” which is probably right. I would add, “You also take the learning you create.” If there’s something more at the end of this adventure, my advice is make sure you take as much love and learning as you possibly can!
The last word(s)
Q: I work with a guy who has two Ph.D.s. He’s clearly smart, and in his 60s. But he is the dumbest person I have ever met when it comes to dealing with others. Is there a reason someone so smart can be so incompetent with people?
A: Yes, as the American actor Morgan Freeman noted, “Your age doesn’t define your maturity and your grades do not define your intelligence.” High effectiveness at work requires a combination of experience, education, interpersonal skills, and personal awareness, not just high I.Q.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker, also appears as the FOX Channel’s “Workplace Guru” each Monday morning. She’s the author of “Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything” (Hay House, 2006). You can contact Dr. Skube at www.interpersonaledge.com or 1420 NW Gilman Blvd., #2845, Issaquah, WA 98027. Sorry, no personal replies.
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