She helped us to find peace as we told the world “We Do Not Care!’
By Cheryl Smith
Texas Metro News
There are so many words that could be used to describe, explain, salute, and praise this year‘s person of the year.
Sure we’ve had some dynamic men and women with Pastor Yvette Lavailais calling attention to sexual harassment, abuse, and coverups in the church; trailblazing from Hall of Fame journalist and businessman Roland S. Martin; Judge Tammy Kemp leading from the bench with wisdom, compassion and the highest ethical standards; Coach Prime (Deion Sanders) coaching, and teaching our young men on and off the gridiron; the late, great, Hon. Eddie Bernice Johnson leading locally, nationally, and internationally for five decades, and a bold, prepared, unafraid in the face of so many challenges Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett, who speaks truth to power while challenging weak, incompetent, and embarrassing leadership.
Usually, I try to find a tie to Texas since that’s the home of I Messenger Media. It was tough to make the connection with the information I had, then it came to me.
This person is 45, I used to be 45. She is a woman, So am I. Then it hit me, she is from West Palm Beach, Florida, and my parents were born in Florida, and I went to FAMU, and now I live in Texas.
Bam! There it is!
AND HERE SHE IS
This year’s Person of the Year has shifted the minds and actions of millions globally, helping women to lead better lives. We all know that if women are in a better state of mind, the world is a better place — especially if we are in leadership positions.
Melani Sanders is the comfort, wisdom, and the inspiration that the world needed. She is the founder of the We Do Not Care Club.
The name may not sound familiar to you immediately, but millions of women, and men too, are feeling the impact of this humble, unassuming, naturally authentic woman.
In the past, women dealt with their physical well-being as they sometimes ignored their mental; refusing to protect their peace
Never has so much emphasis been put on our mental well-being, during my lifetime as what we’ve witnessed from Melani, who is the brains, the sensibility, the passion, and humor displayed in her social media posts.
As if she weren’t enough, she invites her audiences to share what they don’t care about.
Women are called strong when many of us wanted to shout, “I don’t want to be strong.”
Folks didn’t seem to realize that we didn’t have a choice because we were expected to be strong. Actually, we were forced into that role.
The We Do Not Care Club has shifted the narrative. Women are feeling more empowered, liberated, and in control of our lives.
This 45-year-old wife and mother of three sons has managed to strengthen and liberate so many with what started as a simple post where she said, declared, and claimed that she didn’t care, and launched the next movement that will probably be listed in history books along with Women’s Suffrage and the Women’s Liberation Movements.
According to Melani, her going viral wasn’t intentional. She was surprised that she got hundreds of thousands of responses in days, and then millions from others who wanted to join the club or share their thoughts and experiences.
She was entering rooms she had never entered and speaking to people whom she had never met because members of the club were spreading her messages, liberating the masses.
I recall being on a stage, and I didn’t change my shoes because my feet were hurting. I was speaking before a huge crown, and I made a declaration, using a joke I heard first from long-time TV journalist and friend John McCaa.
Quoting the comedic genius, the late Mom’s Mabley, I told the audience, “I know how some of you are looking at me and probably saying ‘Cheryl knows better,’ but as a new member of that we do not care club all I have to say is ‘I do not care that these shoes don’t match my dress because they match my feet!’“
Women came up to me later and said their shoes always hurt, but they wear them because they look good, and their men like them. They told me they would remember Moms Mabley!
Now back to Melani. This woman is phenomenal. She is so intuitive, and she touches everyone and everywhere.
With everything going on in the world, we all need to be touched. Every time she brings her messages and gives us the announcements for the day, she touches on real issues. She’s going to connect with some fiber of your very existence.
It’s also important to note that Melani talks about topics that were considered taboo. She opens the door and allows everyone in to have those deep discussions that many have shied away from. We get to discuss the changes we go through without anyone passing judgment, shaming or hurting. We realize we have a lot more in common, and we can help one another along this journey.
On May 13, 2025, Melani sat in the parking of a supermarket and found herself in a space — the place where we go, but really don’t want to be.
Melani didn’t know she was menopausal; she just knew at that time she was at capacity. She had taken more than enough and couldn’t take any more.
Her post began:
“Hello and welcome to all new and existing members of the We Do Not Care Club. I started this club for all women who are going through Perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause. We are putting the world on notice that we simply just do not care much anymore.”
Then she provided the announcements of the day as she crossed them off one-by-one.
It was meltdown time, and what those tuning in to social media platforms heard was a vulnerable, honest, and transparent.
She said what so many felt.
Perimenopause, menopause and post menopause have now become mainstream, thanks to the We Do Not Care Club.
While there are many organizations and people providing information about the stages of menopause, in the past eight months, Melani has taken the sharing of information to a new level.
According to the Mayo Clinic, some women see a healthcare professional for their perimenopausal symptoms. But others either tolerate the changes or don’t have symptoms that bother them. This stage can start as early as the 30s or as late as their 50s.
Then you move into the menopause stage – and this one isn’t talked about much, especially in mixed company, even though there are often jokes made about menopause and symptoms, including hot flashes.
Post menopause is the last stage and comes with other health conditions. We’re learning more about this natural process, thanks to Melani and others who have tapped into this movement.
Women have talked about how they felt as though they were losing their minds. They couldn’t explain mood swings and often became irritated at what was viewed as the “simplest” things.
It is important to note that one of the key factors in choosing Melani Sanders had to be the way she makes people feel. In a world where there is so much turmoil, strife, violence, hatred, isms, and negativity, Melani brings joy and peace of mind.
NOTE: Melani is on tour with her book, ”The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook: A Hot-Mess Guide for Women in Perimenopause, Menopause, and Beyond Who Are Over It.”
Make sure you get your copy. It will help you put things into perspective and achieve balance in your life.
Give it as a gift. And understand that while she jokes from time to time, there are some things, like hygiene, that we must care about, she points out.
Order the book, or join the Club at https://wedonotcareclub.com/
We Do Not Care Announcements
- We do not care, if you ask ‘are you okay? No, and yes, and mind your business.
- We do not care, if you need a nap after doing absolutely nothing.
- We do not care, if we reheated our coffee six times and still didn’t drink it.
- We do not care, if we suddenly hate loud noises, bras, or people in general.
- We do not care, if we fan ourselves while you’re talking. The heat is internal, the irritation is external.
- We do not care, if we forgot your question while you were still asking It.
- We do not care, if we suddenly get irritated by sounds that have existed all of our lives.
- We do not care, if we need to sit down right after we stand up.
- We do not care, if we suddenly hate small talk, get to the point or get away from us.
- We do not care, if we cry, then we immediately feel embarrassed. Then immediately do not care.
- We do not care, if we stare at you like we were deciding something. We are.
- We do not care, if the new year reveals who was only comfortable with us, when we were struggling.
- We do not care, if we stop answering questions that should’ve been answered with common sense.
- We do not care, if the only thing we’re carrying into the new year is boundaries — not guilt, grudges, not others expectations.
- We do not care, if we outgrow rooms, routines or relationships.
- We do not care, if we rest more, say less and choose ourselves unapologetically.
- We do not care, if you miss the old version of us. She has retired.
- We do not care, if our availability feels different this year.
- We do not care, that you show up late but we do care that you show up with three extra people and one bag of Ice. The Math is not mathing.
