By: James B. Ewers Jr. Ed. D.
During my childhood growing up in Winston-Salem NC, my Aunt Lois was always in my life. She and my Uncle Willie provided me with the love and oversight that I needed. They gave me some much-needed HT (home training) lessons, too.
Mrs. Lois Thacker was my mom’s sister, and they were close in age. My aunt was a kind and gentle soul. She was a devout Christian who when she spoke, you listened.
I took my aunt, Mrs. Lois Thacker for granted, mainly because I had my mom. At the time, she was simply a beloved relative. That changed when I was fifteen years of age.
My mom, Mrs. Mildred Ewers passed away. That happened many years ago as I am now a seasoned citizen. My Aunt Lois assumed the role of being a mother to me. It was without her telling me. She just did it.
During that pivotal period in my life, she gave me the emotional support that I needed. Her keeping me on track kept me grounded and secure.
I carry her memory with me every day. Making sure that my dad and me had home cooked meals, coming to my college graduation and ensuring that I had a Christian upbringing are just a few examples of how she cared and loved me.
My Aunt Lois never sought the spotlight, yet she was a bright light of hope for me. As the song lyrics go, “never would have made it” without her. She was modest, never drawing attention to herself and how raising me was affecting her own life.
We hear the phrase focusing on my mental health a great deal these days. There are medications and therapies that people use to improve their well-being.
My Aunt Lois being in my life each day was my medication and my therapy. She kept me in a positive state of mind by her words and her actions. As a result, I was always in the light and never in the darkness.
I watch what is transpiring with teens today and their ability to cope with everyday life. My experiences with life-changing circumstances were remedied by a life-changing person. My Aunt Lois was a difference-maker in my life.
She remained in that mother role until her passing in the 1990’s. Her continued uplift and encouragement gave me unspoken comfort and confidence.
When you lose a parent to death at a tender age, your sensibilities and security are shaken. You are not sure about life and your place in it.
That is why having my Aunt Lois step in to be my love provider and protector were so important. Of course, my dad was there yet my aunt gave me the tenderness and sensitivity that I needed.
We recently celebrated Women’s History Month. Women in all walks of life were honored and celebrated for their contributions to the world order. Women’s History Month had its origins as a national celebration in 1981 according to reports.
You will not find my aunt’s name in history books or on any websites. She is not listed in any Who’s Who publications.
However, my Aunt Lois gave me the perseverance and tenacity to succeed. She made me believe even when at times I didn’t believe.
I think about her each day and hope that she is pleased with who, and what I have become. Her tutelage and patience have been building blocks in my life.
All of us have looked over our lives from time to time. We have had both ups and downs. Our days have been made brighter and our nights clearer because of the people that we have had in them.
You are blessed when you have been given a blessing. My Aunt Lois was a blessing to me. She made my past joyful and my future possible.
This column is dedicated to my aunt, Mrs. Mary Lois Thacker.
Dr. James B. Ewers, Jr. is a long-time educator who hails from Winston Salem, N.C. Ewers is a life member of the NAACP and a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity. He is a member of the National Association of Black Journalists.
