By Jolie Doggett
Black America Web
Reprinted – by Texas Metro News
https://blackamericaweb.com/
Source: Prostock-Studio / Getty
A new study reveals that single women are, on average, happier and more satisfied with life on their own than they are when they’re in relationships with men.
“On average, women reported higher overall well-being including higher relationship status satisfaction, higher life satisfaction, higher sexual satisfaction as well as a lower desire for a partner,” reads a new study titled “Sisters are doin’ it for themselves” published on Oct. 24.
University of Toronto psychologists Elaine Hoan and Geoff MacDonald collected data from almost 6,000 participants: ,890 men, 2,831 women, and 29 individuals identifying as nonbinary with an average age of 31.74 years. They say their findings “run counter to existing stereotypes regarding women as the uniquely unhappy gender in singlehood.”
Pop culture and media do tend to paint single women with a broad brush of bitterness. In 2021, then-senate candidate J.D. Vance lambasted Democrats during an interview with Tucker Carlson, saying the country was being run by “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.” The phrase “childless cat lady” became a rallying point for women during the 2024 presidential election but the implication that single, unmarried women are inherently miserable has existed for a long time before then, and single women are still under scrutiny and under social and familial pressure to be partnered.
But the study’s data reveals that romantic relationships offer more rewards for men and more costs for women. Inequitable divisions of household labor and the deprioritization of women’s sexual pleasure may lead to imbalances in relationships for women, resulting in women’s overall dissatisfaction in marriage and long-term relationships.
Authors Hoan and MacDonald say that in fact, single men are more likely to experience unhappiness and have more to gain from partnering than do single women. Women often take on greater emotional labor in relationships than men, and as a result, they may see being partnered as less beneficial.
If the research is to be believed, all the single ladies seem to be doing just fine on their own but… what if you’re single and you don’t actually feel happy about it?
While Hoan and MacDonald’s work reveals the cost of relationships to women, their study also shows that “single Black women reported a greater desire for a partner than single white women.” Black women indeed face unique barriers in the dating world, from racism to tokenization, and many Black women are feeling frustration in their attempts to find romance and a strong desire for intimate fulfillment. Further, loneliness and isolation can also lead to depression and disordered behavior, especially at this time of year.
But being single doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The study shows that single women who have a strong social circle and connection to community have greater life satisfaction, suggesting there are more important relationships to prioritize outside of romance.
The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:7 that “blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” Overall, putting pressure on relationships or any one other person to find happiness is a setup for disappointment. Being single or feeling alone can be hard, but confidence can be found in community and in Christ. Times when you feel alone are times to find communion with God and trust that all things will fall into place according to His will. A relationship with God can lead to peace, love, and enough happiness for a lifetime.
