By Terry Allen
Columnist
I can remember that full statement. “It does not matter what you call me, it is what I answer to that matters!” Lucille “Big Mama” Allen said that on many occasions when I would share how I was bullied at school for being smart or someone called me a racial slur as I walked the six miles back home past “those” homes in “that” neighborhood during my elementary years just to get back home.
My grandmother was a master at stopping bad behavior in its tracks with a statement of clarity that usually started with “Baby, here the thing” or “The Lord ain’t gonna let anyone steal my joy today.” She knew how to handle toxic people and bad thoughts. Her rule to us was to choose who you answer too and it will pay off. She shared a story about how the wife of her employer never called her by her name or thanked her for her work but the husband praised her all the time.
He praised her publicly and he praised her to others. She said she never answered her employer’s wife but she answered to her employer and members of his social network all the time with a smile and great service. One day, a member of his social network secretly made her way back to the back office and offered my grandmother a job. Big Mama negotiated a higher pay; less work hours and an employer who called her Mrs. Allen.
She said “Who you answer to determines how high you go!” She was raised under the same “Southern way” of another great mom, Marian Robinson, the mother of former First Lady Michelle Obama who gave us the phrase, “When they go low, we go high.” The Low/High statement is straight out Big Mama’s Playbook because it resonates for the same strategy. I have ‘answered’ to many opportunities using this method for Big Mama’s playbook.
In the wake of the disappointing insurrection at the Nation’s Capitol building, we see members of our leadership falsely calling out other leaders as thieves who stole the election. But “who you answer to” worked here as well. Arrests, votes for impeachment, transparency, prosecution, and the continuation of the inauguration is the answer.
Across the nation, you will see the “answer” works. Shout-out to Haitian-American and avid runner, Alison Mariella Desir, who took to the digital world of IG, with a call to action after the death of Ahmaud Arbery, a black male runner killed in Georgia. Her answer was to create Run 4 all Women and a social change raising over $260,000 for Black Votes Matter as well as non token partnership with a major apparel brand.
Her efforts also changed the diversity policies of the apparel brand. Now do you see how “WHO you answer to” matters over what someone calls you? Email me at terryallenpr@gmjail.com and enlighten me.
Terry Allen is an award-winning media professional, journalist and entrepreneur. He is also the founder of City Men Cook and 1016 Media.
