In the realm of unity, solidarity, and collaboration, there’s a stark reality often overlooked: “Not all skinfolk are kinfolk.”
Zora Neale Hurston’s poignant words ring true, echoing through generations to remind us of an uncomfortable truth. While we strive for cohesion, there are deal breakers that fracture even the most like-minded groups, particularly within the African American community. I have sat in so many meetings by “us” that are combative, defensive, and non-binding.
Firstly, ego (E.G.O. – Easing God Out) often stands as an impenetrable barrier.
In our pursuit of collective progress, individual egos can rear their heads, sabotaging efforts for unity. Whether it’s vying for leadership roles or seeking personal acclaim, ego-driven agendas undermine the greater cause.
As Big Mama would say, “Child, leave your ego at the door if you want to build together” and Not All Skinfolk Ain’t Kinfolk!”
Secondly, the impact of internalized oppression looms large. Despite shared experiences of discrimination and marginalization, some among us internalize harmful narratives perpetuated by the dominant culture.
This internalized oppression breeds di- vision, as individuals distance themselves from their own community in a misguided attempt to assimilate or gain favor. It’s a painful reality when those who should be allies become unwitting agents of the very systems oppressing us. Big Mama said “we can’t even agree to disagree up-in-here!”
Lastly, unresolved traumas sow seeds of discord within our midst. Historical traumas, intergenerational wounds, and personal struggles show up in many ways, hindering our ability to work harmoniously.
Unaddressed pain festers, erupting in conflicts fueled by unresolved grievances. Big Mama understood the importance of healing our collective wounds, for only then can we truly come together as kinfolk. Activist Cleo Manago labeled us as being in a trance, “The anti-Black trauma trance is deep, and Black people must awaken from it.”
In the pursuit of solidarity, it’s imperative to confront these deal-breakers headon. Ego must yield to collective empowerment, internalized oppression must be dismantled through self-awareness and education, and traumas must be acknowledged and healed.
Only then can we heed Big Mama’s wisdom and recognize that while we may share the same skin, true kinship is forged through shared values, mutual respect, and a commitment to uplift one another.
So, let’s heed the words of Big Mama and strive to build bridges instead of barriers, for in unity lies our strength, and in solidarity, our liberation.
Terry Allen is an NABJ award-winning Journalist, DEI expert, PR professional and founder of the charity – Vice President at FocusPR, Founder of City Men Cook and Dallas Chapter President of NBPRS.org
