Big Mama Said: “Have Someone’s Back or Lose the War”

By Terry Allen

Lucille “Big Mama” Allen was a wellspring of wisdom, offering timeless lessons wrapped in plainspoken truth. One of her most resonant teachings was this: “Have someone’s back or lose the war.” To Big Mama, this meant that unity and loyalty weren’t just virtues; they were survival strategies. In today’s climate, where African Americans and our hard-won freedoms are under fire, this message rings more urgent than ever.

The phrase “have someone’s back” originated from the literal act of protecting someone from attacks, especially from behind. Over time, it has evolved into a broader expression of support and solidarity. Yet, within our community, solidarity is often compromised by the divisive legacy of self-hatred, what many label as the Willie Lynch Syndrome. This phenomenon pits us against each other, undermining our collective progress.

History offers painful examples. The ideological clash between W.E.B. Du Bois and Booker T. Washington over how best to uplift African Americans fractured a burgeoning movement. Du Bois’s advocacy for higher education and Washington’s emphasis on vocational training weren’t mutually exclusive, yet their discord overshadowed the shared goal of racial advancement.

Fast forward to the modern era, and the tension between Tyler Perry and Spike Lee serves as another example. Both giants in storytelling, their public criticisms of each other’s work highlighted a broader issue: the inability to see different approaches as complementary rather than conflicting. When we fail to back each other, we risk losing the war for cultural and economic empowerment.

I find myself in similar crosshairs. As I strive to serve advocacy organizations transparently, there are those who claim to have my back but instead approach the very inroads I’ve built, jeopardizing progress and creating roadblocks. These actions fracture authentic relationships and set us back as a community.

Big Mama would have words for these progress killers: “Stabbin’ me in the back doesn’t mean havin’ my back.” Her admonition underscores a crucial truth: undermining each other only benefits those who thrive on our division.

If we truly want to honor the sacrifices of those who came before us and safeguard the freedoms we’ve gained, we must embrace the spirit of loyalty and unity Big Mama preached. It’s time to have each other’s backs, or we risk losing everything.

Terry Allen is an NABJ award- winning Journalist, DEI expert, PR professional, and founder of the charity – Vice President at FocusPR, Founder of City Men Cook, and Dallas Chapter President of NBPRS.org