Change is something that we all experience. For most of us, we like the idea of security. Even when things are not going the way we want, it’s easier to adapt to the familiar. Change forces us to recognize that we aren’t in control. Even when the change is for the best, it’s the uncertainty and at the core, loss. It’s the loss of what we’ve become accustomed to even if it’s for something so much better.
I remember when my daughter was a baby and I couldn’t wait for her to get potty trained. It seemed that we were always going to another level with her growth. I couldn’t wait for her to walk. With every age, there was something new to deal with and adjust to. No matter how I wanted her to grow from one phase to the next, it was always something new and different to experience. The night she graduated from high school, it hit me hard. All of those levels and phases were preparing her for something greater. I was not raising a child, I was raising a child to become an adult.
Even when she left to go to college, I remember crying before she left home. Knowing that so much of who I was as a person was connected to being her mother. Being an empty nester is not only difficult in watching your children move into their identity as an adult but it’s challenging for parents on so many levels. The relationship with your child changes to some degree. I found myself becoming more of a coach and consultant while also redirecting my focus to the leading of God in this new and next season.
It’s been a gift to watch her grow. Our relationship has changed once again. She’s a college graduate and a woman doing some amazing work with me. We are still mother and daughter but it’s different now. She’s matured and so have I. It helps me to understand through the transitions we’ve both experienced in our lives mirrors the changes that we go through in our faith journey. Through it all, God has been there.
Just as our children grow and mature, we as adults should continue evolving and growing. Muhammad Ali said “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” Time goes by so quickly and what we do with it is important. Too many of us are holding on to the past, wasting time and not growing up or growing in God.
1 Corinthians 3:1-7 provides a glimpse of the importance of growth in our faith walk. “I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans…as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.”
Our views and actions should also change over time. Just as we age and hopefully grow up, our faith walk should also grow.
In the midst of all the changes we experience, we should know that God never has left or forsaken us (Deuteronomy 31:6) We should also know that all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28). We should also understand that we all have roles in life in different seasons. Apollos had a role to play and so did Paul. Ultimately, we should know that God is responsible for us and with us in these seasons. Despite the changes we see in our lives, we can rest in knowing that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) His love for us never changes and carries us through all of the transitions we face.
Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew is the CEO of Soulstice Consultancy and the founder of the Reconciliation and Restoration Foundation (r2fdn.org). She is the author of four books including Empowering Charity: A New Narrative of Philanthropy (Baylor University Press, 2022) and the host of the Tapestry podcast.
