By Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew
As a young woman, I attended a church because of a friend’s invitation. I started attending and was amazed by the pastor’s charisma and teaching. The congregation adored him and placed him on a pedestal. At the time, I was trying to find a church home. I grew up in the church and it was important to me to find a place in my new area.
I wanted Godly wisdom and decided to set an appointment to visit with the pastor. That day, no one was at the church but the pastor and his secretary. He closed the door and we began to talk about my walk with God. I was stunned by what happened next. This man was trying to attack me in his office. I ran around the desk to avoid his advances. I escaped to my car trembling and terrified. I began questioning myself and the church—what did I do to deserve this?
I was grateful for the support of friends who encouraged me to seek counseling. I felt like because he did not physically attack me, I wasn’t harmed. The reality is that I was spiritually and emotionally harmed. This so-called man of God abused his authority and power. I remember speaking with a man in authority of the denomination to share what happened. His response was not one of surprise but he commented that it was a repeat violation and that he would request that this pastor seek counseling again.
This devastated me. I realized over time that I was not the only one that this happened to. No one wanted to confront him and he continued to use his platform to abuse young women. For years, I stopped going to church because I couldn’t understand how this man was allowed to damage people. People defended the behavior because it didn’t happen to them or that person didn’t appear to have a proclivity to sexual, mental, emotional, or spiritual indiscretions.
A friend of mine who wasn’t a Christian would always remind me that he left the church because he was infuriated with buffet Christianity. As Believers, we pick and choose the sins that we want to accept or condemn. If it’s our issue, we seek forgiveness. If it’s not our challenge, we go all in for punishment.
Sadly, this behavior isn’t unusual. In many congregations, people are protected because of their ability to make others feel good and excited. Victims are blamed, not heard as we continue to witness the wounding of many. It boils down to idolizing those in leadership instead of seeking the will of God.
American Christianity has been guilty of our passion for the pulpit instead of being on fire for God and God’s word. As we focus more on prosperity and purpose, we are avoiding the difficult conversations that we need to save lives and heal hearts. Too many of us want to be motivated and entertained: “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” (2 Timothy 4:3-6)
The book of Revelation (something not taught frequently) reminds us of what God is seeking. “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked…” (Revelation 3:15- 18)
Many of our congregations are neither hot nor cold. Our beliefs do not match our behaviors. Sometimes, before service is complete, offense takes over, and watch out because someone might get cussed out before they reach the parking lot.
It’s time out for the theatrics. If we decided to face the truth, our condemnation of the harmful and sin-filled behavior of others might actually involve condemning ourselves.
Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew is the President of Soulstice Consultancy, LLC and the Founder of the Reconciliation and Restoration (r2fdn.org) Foundation. The author of 4 books including Empowering Charity: A New Narrative of Philanthropy, Dr. Booker-Drew is also the host of the Tapestry Podcast.
