As I meandered through the city, leaving my hood in pursuit of a hot real estate lead in Frisco, a newer version of the ultimate suburban villa I came to a startling and saddening conclusion; I’m just tired of being Black.
And before you judge me harshly or without due diligence, hear me out.
Take a stroll down the Dallas North Tollway and as you pass the George H.W. Bush Turnpike, it seems as though a whole new city rises to meet you. The roads are crystal, the amenities and choices are abundant, and the look and feel of urban clutter is lost.
Dallas Cowboy owner Jerry Jones and his posse didn’t just happen upon Frisco as their new corporate hideout. The list of major companies heading that direction is longer than you expect.
The new and sprawling areas of Dallas’ northern corridor are not devoid of African Americans and Hispanics, but the quality of life is so much more promising and has so much more potential.
I’m not tired of being Black because I want to live in that utopia; I’m just tired that urban revitalization seems to be an option for every corner of Dallas except the South.
My distress with being Black though is not localized, it’s national. As a race of people we always seem to be struggling or striving, but never settling into the “American Dream. And what’s worse is that we have lost so much of the advantages that we once treasured.
Affirmative Action heroes like Injustice Clarence Thomas rode the “inclusion” escalator to the top and then turned off the power. The State of Texas has always been America’s racist epicenter, but their assault on DEI and parity would be nullified if we didn’t have a “amnesia-tic” Negro in a Black robe.
I’m tired of being Black because of whitewashed coloreds who trade our right to ride the freedom train for junkets and day rides on the yachts of our oppressors.
If there were a singular source of racial pride for the Negro, it was that we were known as the hardest working, most God fearing people in the world. From the abolition movement to the post Jim Crow civil rights era, our greatest gains came from our bonds in sweat equity and the church.
I’m tired of being Black because we have gone from being bionic to bipolar; from Superman to superfluous and from sensitive to sensual.
And those sentiments don’t just emanate from the larger culture; they come from within our own ranks. We are as likely to “profile” young Black men as anyone else.
George Zimmerman was not an anomaly in America, he is the norm and Black folks are complicit in the ongoing mistakened identity of our men.
I’m tired of being Black because I have grown weary with witnessing our transformation from being the church to playing church. Too many of our smaller edifices are ego-driven; that” I gotta have a title” mentality. Many of us attend the smaller home-style churches so that we can be somebody. The mega-churches on the other hand have become a haven for the hiders and the selfish.
My grandfather, Rev. Z. R. Figures, used to extend the right hand of fellowship by admonishing the new convert to “Work out your soul salvation in fear and trembling.” These days the only fear and trembling among mega-church folk is they might be found out. America’s got talent and most of it is held hostage in our church pews.
The lack of commitment shows up in giving and in willing workers. Our choir stands should be full, our usher boards enormous, and our outreach activities should fill the void of our public schools and governmental neglect of the poor and underserved. The lack of money and endowments should never be a source of hindrance for the church of a God who claims endless bounty and ownership.
It’s hard to be a conscientious Black citizen. You are asked to serve on juries and convict your peers if they violate the law. Meanwhile, the Attorney General of Texas, like his bestie, the former and 45th President of the United States, rapes the letter and spirit of the law without consequence.
I told my friend, that I was going to pen this missive and she laughed. But as I put pen to parchment and realized how hard it is to be Black, I just cried. I guess I’m tired of being Black but will never give up! God has us here for a reason.
Vincent L. Hall is an author, activist, and an award-winning columnist.