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BLACK CARD: Today, We Will Use The Good Dishes!

A Lesson In Delayed Gratification
vs. Be Here Now!

I repeat this again, I am certain that Lucille “Big Mama” Allen’s playbook ensures a job at the White House as a domestic policy specialist in the President’s Cabinet. She would ask the staff to use the Good Dishes!”

In today’s combatant world, we often find ourselves caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, saving our best for some promised occasion. However, the timeless wisdom of my grandmother, “Big Mama” reminds us that there is profound significance in using “good dishes” even amidst the controlled chaos of today.

As a Black woman, she spoke from her heart, infusing her teachings with love and life lessons that still resonate with us today.

Let’s explore three modern-day tips inspired by Big Mama’s valuable advice on using the “good dishes.”

  1. Surrender to Delayed Gratification with Grace and Mercy. Big Mama understood the importance of delayed gratification. By reserving the “good dishes” for special moments, we learn to appreciate the present while nurturing anticipation for future success.
    However, it’s crucial to strike a balance. Instead of waiting for grand occasions, create your own special moments. Gather friends and family for a simple dinner or celebrate small wins. This way we honor the spirit of delayed gratification while respecting the joy of being here now a/k/a the present.
  2. Find Joy in the Everyday, the Ordinary. Using the “good dishes” doesn’t have to be reserved for extraordinary events alone. Big Mama knew that life’s joy lies not only in grand events but also in the ordinary, everyday moments.
    Big Mama said everyday life is a cause for celebration. Bring out the “good dishes” into your daily bread; let it remind you to find joy in the everyday stuff – a home-cooked meal, laughter with loved ones, or dancing to an old school tune. HEYYYY! HOOOO!
  3. Pass Down Stories, Customs and Traditions: When Big Mama shared her wisdom, it wasn’t just about the dishes; it was about passing down to the’ young’uns’ cherished traditions and stories.

In the digital age, where connections can feel fleeting, we must make a deliberate effort to share the significance of the “good dishes” with current generations.


As you pass down these family treasures, weave in the stories of your ancestors, imparting the importance of honoring both the past and the present.

Lastly, Big Mama’s teachings hold a cross –generational trauma and truth that resonates today. Using the “good dishes” is not simply about material possessions; it symbolizes a mindset that encourages delayed gratification while finding joy in everyday life.

By infusing these teachings into our current lives, we give balance and purpose, cherishing both the present moment and the promise of future joys.

Let us honor the legacy of all our Big Mama(s) by embracing her wisdom and passing it down to future generations, ensuring that her voice continues to inspire and guide us through the journey of life.

Can you share with me what your Big Mama said? Email me at if you want to talk about joining the Juneteenth collaborative.

Terry Allen is an NABJ award-winning Journalist, DEI expert, PR professional and founder of the charity – Vice President at FocusPR, Founder of City Men Cook and Dallas Chapter President of

Written By

Terry Allen is an award-winning media professional, journalist, and entrepreneur. He is also the founder of City Men Cook and 1016 Media. Reach him at


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