Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?



Without fail, mighty words would always shoot forth when Lucille “Big Mama” Allen stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the “big room” speaking her own truth.

This time she would speak to other women who spoke about another ‘sister’ and village member, particularly on two occasions that were never happy. One was when the member of the village was injured or showed up with bruises or Heaven forbid if one of the sisters in the village died from injuries.

In Lucille “Big Mama” Allen, world domestic violence was real. It was called a date with the devil.

My siblings and I were affected by domestic violence. Yet, I will not speak on those specific family-centric experiences as we all have different levels of healing in the family.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

I do know, thanks to Big Mama’s own journey, test and testimony; my sisters have not experienced domestic violence like the sisters in My Mama/Big Mama’s village. Childhood trauma is a by- product of domestic violence. I am trembling as I write this now.

My trauma resurfaced.

One vivid memory sticks in my mind. Mama answered a call and she suddenly dropped the phone saying, “Oh God no!” I saw life leave her body as she fell in the chair, yet nothing was said that day, during the funeral and after the repast.

That silence never changed. All I know is that a sister in the village was gone. And it hurts! I never felt so helpless! I vowed to never let any woman suffer those emotions and fears again.

I got my house in order! I created a fund with bestselling author, the late Francis Ray, and launched Sister CEO!

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Lucille “Big Mama” Allen’s platform was always steeped in the Biblical word. She had a song in the sister village, for those ‘incidents’ – “My soul looks back and wonders how I got over.”

In those songs, I learned of other sister voices in the village, Mahalia, Aretha, Maya, Clara and the pensive Billie Holiday.

Big Mama and the village sisters endured a lot to be women. Domestic violence rips open the finer tapestry of the village as it dismantles the joy in the family. Check the facts.

85% of domestic violence victims are women. says that the most common age when intimate partner violence is first experienced by women is age 18-24 (38.6%), followed by age 11-17 (22.4%), age 35-44 (6.8%) and age 45+(2.5%). For men the most common age is 18-24 (47.1%), fol- lowed by age 25-34 (30.6%), age 11-17 (15.0%), age 35-44 (10.3%) and age 45+ (5.5%).

These are real facts!

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

The renowned Runoko Rashidi reminds us all that we are descendants of the Diaspora. He says women were revered in our ancestral past. We are not true to our African selves and the original role of women in our lives.

Disrespecting your mother was not allowed in our village back then, so why now?

Readers, take action do not harbor or protect perpetrators of family violence. It is unacceptable!

Family, we need you. Let’s get our house in order! Call me at the paper or email me.

I want us to join hands and do our part to end domestic violence now, not tomorrow!

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Terry Allen is an award-winning media professional, journalist, and entrepreneur. He is also the founder of City Men Cook and 1016 Media. Reach him at

Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse
Written By

Terry Allen is an award-winning media professional, journalist, and entrepreneur. He is also the founder of City Men Cook and 1016 Media. Reach him at


Mask It Up

Read The Current Issue

Texas Metro News

Upcoming Events

  1. Little Women, Brodie Copeland Theatre (January 21 – 29)

    January 21 @ 7:00 pm - January 29 @ 7:00 pm
  2. Small Businesses are you interested in doing business (January 25)

    January 25 @ 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm
  3. Denton Black Film Festival (January 26-29)

    January 26 @ 8:00 am - January 29 @ 10:00 pm
  4. Ready, Set, Vote (February 3)

    February 3 @ 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm

You May Also Like


As I opened the front door of the home my grandfather built with his own hands Big Mama shared one of her standard “Baby,...


As a child, my Big Mama had other women in the community that would of- ten say this to their children. Oftentimes, when I...

DMN Stories

Colleagues in Congress along with Dallas residents lauded the longtime Congress member.


I now know what was Lucille “Big Mama’ Allen saying to me and others when she stated, “you must pour into those who pour...